Cigar Etiquette (Get your stuff right!)

     I was just in one of my favorite cigar spots and as this guy (who has been there a time or two), was asking to borrow cutters and lighters.  I was waiting for him to ask to borrow a cigar, and as I sat there I realized that some folks just don't know that there is "cigar etiquette" like everything else in life.  So I figured I'd take a few moments to address this issue.

     First, you should always carry your "tools" with you.  Meaning a cutter or punch and a lighter.  After all if you were a carpenter, would you show up to a construction site with no hammers, nails, saws etc.?  You can find great cutters and lighters at really affordable prices that you can carry in your pocket at all times.  I even own a credit card cutter (the size of a credit card that fits in my wallet) and a slim line lighter that easily fits in my pocket.  Most of the time I carry my Max Benjamin Mini Cigar Bar bag which has ample room to store everything you need for a cigar outing, including room for a bottle of your favorite libation, a traveldor, glasses and even a small cooler for a few cubes of ice.  But when I leave the house in the morning I always, repeat always make sure I have the first two items I mentioned in this paragraph as well as a couple of sticks. 

     It's not my responsibility to provide you tools for your enjoyment.  If you've been enjoying cigars for more than a month there's absolutely no reason not to have your own tools.  You asked to borrow my cutter after you've licked your cigar all over.  I have no idea where your mouth has been and I don't want your germs.  And believe it or not I actually have to pay for the butane in my lighter or I need to save my matches for when I want to enjoy another stick.  Now I'm not above helping out in extreme situations, but every time I look up you're saying not even asking "let me use your lighter or cutter". 

     Then I don't want to be reaching every 5 minutes for you to use my tools.  When I light up my stogie and sit back, that means I'm enjoyment mode, not cater to your needs mode.  The next thing I want to talk about is asking for a cigar.  HELL TO THE NO!!! If one wants you to enjoy a stick, typically they'll GIVE YOU ONE,  but it's totally rude to ask for a cigar.  I work extremely hard for my money and I buy cigars for me, and if I'm so inclined to share with you, I will.  Do you go to the gas station and ask people to give you gas, or hang around the lobby in the Directv building asking for free service?  No, so don't beg for a stick.  It's just common sense.  The cigar circle is filled with a lot of kind, giving and great folks, don't ruin it by asking for cigars.  Sometimes maybe it's just not for you to have a certain cigar at that time, but here's a novel idea, especially if you're in a cigar store... BUY ONE OR SOME.  I'm sure the store owners will appreciate it.

     Clean up your damn mess.  For the most part, we all know cigars can be messy (meaning the ash), but if it falls, clean it up or at least make the effort to.  When you're cutting your stick, cut it over an ashtray or garbage can.  Don't just cut it and let if fall on the floor.  You're mom doesn't work at the cigar store so she won't clean up after you.  Same with the cellophane, it's cool to just sit it on the table, but eventually throw it away.  As a good practice, don't put the cellophane in the ashtray, as it doesn't make a good smell if it's burning in the ashtray or if somebody were to put there cigar there not paying attention, of course now you have a cello flavored cigar.  This also goes for soda bottles/cans, Starbucks cups etc.  The folks at the cigar stores are not janitors so don't leave your crap all over. 

     You should never, I repeat never "smash" a cigar out.  Just sit it down and it will go out all by itself.  When you smash it out, it leaves a very pungent, nasty aroma that now interferes with my pleasant aroma and my "cigar mood".  It's not a cigarette, it's a CIGAR and should be treated as such.  By rule you should also never cut the lit end of a stogie, as when you re-light it, it won't taste good and the part you just cut off again will smell like crap.  If you find you don't have time to finish what you've started, either wait just 5 more minutes without puffing and it will be safe enough to sit in your car or buy a Cigar Saver.  They're great devices that you can actually put a lit stick in, put the cap back on it and it will go out all by its lonesome.  And you won't get such a foul taste when you relight it.

     One of the biggest etiquette rules I'd like to talk about is respecting others.  The shop is a place where we all like to solve the world's problems, but you don't have to be a complete idiot to do that.  I spent 20 plus years in the military and I didn't hear no where near the amount of cussing I do in some shops.   You all know they're all types of folks in the shop and all should be respected.  It's one thing to say "mofo" to your buddy sitting right next to you, but yelling it out is just plain rude and unbecoming.  What you may find if you respect yourself, you'll gain a lot of respect in return.  Most shops I frequent have a lot of women who enjoy cigars and regardless of what you think, they are WOMEN and should be respected, as well as people of the clergy, and people who just don't cuss.  Because you're cussing, doesn't make you a "macho man or woman", it just makes you an even bigger idiot.

     Politics is a huge topic of discussion in most shops and no matter what your party affiliation is, it don't make it right or wrong and if you don't like a certain politician that's fine, but others may like a certain person and don't want to hear you talking a bunch of crap trying to push your agenda.  Have a discussion not a lecture.  I know some people are just plain idiots and will try to make themselves worldly, but in the long run it makes them more an idiot and less welcome amongst the group.  As goes for your personal problems, those are YOUR personal problems so handle 'em.  I really could care less if your wife is sleeping with the pool boy, unless she's buying us all a cigar every week.  Don't make the conversation a downer with that kinda crap, just sayin.

     Finally, this you think would be common sense but I guess not.  As much as I'm sure cigar store owners want you to be comfortable, they don't mean take your shoes off, or lay on the couch etc.  It's not your living room, and others don't want to smell your stinky ass feet.  "Come on man" have some decency about yourself.  Cigars and cigar folks are for enjoyment, not for conflicts and having to show grown ass folks how to act.

     So now go to your local cigar joint with this wisdom, buy some sticks and enjoy.  If you give any of this thought at all, you'll see you will not only enjoy your cigar much better, but the whole cigar mood will improve, and you might be invited to participate in a few more conversations.  Until next time, CLP (clip, light and puff).  "Smoke 'em, if you got 'em"